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JRock's Radar: Eureka!!!! How I Got My Wife Hooked on 'Celebrity' Sports
As many of the gentlemen out there know, it's a major dilemma when you want to watch hours of sports on television and the wife, girlfriend, shorty, little lady, significant other, or special friend (didn't want to leave anyone out) is not going to have it. Well, here is a little gem I tripped upon while watching a fight last year. After talking her into watching it, I started pointing out the celebrities in the audience and making comments about them. It had the effect of a good jab, it doesn't really hurt your opponent, but it does set up the rest of your punches. Since celebrities are my business, I was able to watch the fight and keep an ongoing conversation about each person at the fight.
Before you knew it, the twelve rounds were up Money Mayweather has his hand up in victory and then sambas his way to “Dancing With The Stars.” What a victory. For me. All I had to do was do what she loves to do anyway - gossip about celebrities. GENIUS! This worked so well for me that I have not missed a fight all year and my wife watched the Oscar De La Hoya vs. Steve Forbes fight without me and reported all the ringside details. She didn't record the fight for me, but sports watching etiquette comes later on in the lesson plan.
Now, of course I had to try this theory out on every sport I watch. And surprisingly it works. Some sports came really easy. Thank you, Gisele Bundchen and Jessica Simpson. You made last year’s football season one of the best ever. Please continue your work on behalf of the league (at least my fantasy football league), you’re truly helping to bring families together. Sorry, Cowboys fans, I'm a Dolphins fan, someone else had to feel our pain. Thank you, Jason Taylor, for your work on the field and on the dance floor. I can hear myself on the couch now, "Look, dear, Jason Taylor just got another sack, pass me the chips."
Baseball took two stages. First we went to a Dodgers game in the cheap seats with some friends. No celebs up there, of course I knew there wouldn't be any up there, but getting her to be ok with spending money on great seats was not the battle for that day. When she saw the celebs at the game on “SportsCenter” that night, my work was done. Next time I took her by myself and sat in the seats I wanted to sit in. I hit her with the Juan Pierre lyric ("I use to steal the bases like Juan Pierre") from the Jay-Z / Beyonce single "Crazy in Love." And pointed him and the other celebs out. Grand slam, baby.
Basketball is another easy one. Try these: "Hey, babe...is that Leo DiCaprio at the Celtics game?" or "Was that Vanessa and Zac at the Lakers Game?" Enjoy.
I will admit I've had some troubles with and am still having troubles with Golf, especially if Tiger is not in the field. I can't pull the "you’re watching history" card on her. This weekend presented an even greater challenge. When I put the Players Championship on, Bob Costas immediately says, "Stay tuned for our five hours of coverage." Come on man, you're killing me. I mean I know that, you know that, everyone tuned in knows that, except the lady right next to me who immediately screams, "No way, not gonna happen." It was a good thing that Paul Goydos is from my hometown of Long Beach. That's right the LBC. Represent! I dropped a Snoop Dogg reference and told my Tiger hitting golf balls into my high school tennis practice (practice!) story. Solid! Congrats to Sergio Garcia for taking it down. Don't get used to it. And as far as The Ryder Cup, not going to happen. Yeah I said it!
As far as hockey, I got nothing for ya. Please let me know if you have any advice. Actually, never mind, some battles just aren't worth fighting.
The moral of this story is a little Access Hollywood a day will equal hours of countless sports moments. Trust me, it works.
Pretty Clever Jamal... and sneaky too! :-)