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'Gossip Girl' Episode One, Season Two Recap
"Gossip Girl's" second season kicked off last night on the CW and here's how it all went down, at least in my eyes. In the Hampton's, hottie Nate Archibald gets it on in a car with a much older yet still hot thirty-something married woman. The attitude that this is supposed to be clandestine affair doesn't really work considering its broad daylight and they are parked on the street in front of her house, in a car without tinted windows.
Chuck Bass is back to being an ass. He sips cocktails on the beach with a bunch of floozy girls who apparently don't realize Coopers Beach in the Hampton's doesn't have a topless policy. His brooding sister by new marriage, Serena Van Der Woodsen, mopes on the beach nearby.
Back to New York where Dan Humphries has become a ladies man. Really? Working for some famous author he juggles two chicks which apparently has led to him being a bad employee/assistant or whatever he is supposed to be.
Meanwhile, also in NYC sister Jenny has taken an internship at Eleanor Waldorf's fashion house. Somehow young J thinks she is already a designer herself already. She gets bitch slapped by some nasty Eleanor minion who you know is gonna get her comeuppance at some point in this episode.
Back in the Hampton's Chuck shows his sweet spot for Blair by showing up to meet her at the Hampton Jitney with flowers, only to find her playing sucky face with some hot dude. Gossip Girl narrates and utters the first zinger of the season, "Aint' karma a bitch? We know Blair Waldorf is." And commercial...
Blair and Serena reunite for a little girl talk at Serena's grandmother's posh house. B gives S a whole lot of crap for her lack of dating this year especially when she finds out a hot lifeguard asked her out, "Are you crazy, a hot lifeguard is like Kleenex. Use once and throw away."
Dan gets fired from his job (boo hoo, who cares) while Jenny makes nice, nice with Eric so she can get an invite to the White Party. It's at this point you realize little J will be wearing that lacy white dress she designed for Eleanor's minion to this little shindig.
Back at Grandma's house Blair brings her new beau, James to dinner to make Chuck mad. It works like a charm. Speaking of charms, sneaky Blair attaches a family heirloom pin to James' sweater, which throws Chuck into a tizzy. Blair does the classic chase after him move and continues to drive the spike into Chuck's broken heart.
Nate and hot married woman continue their make out sessions until oops, her husband comes home early. So, its out the window for young Nate. Cliché!
Blair and Serena do some shopping while B comes up with lots of classic ways to make funny lines with Chuck's name like "Damn that mother chucker" and "Chuck Bass-tard." She also admits that James was just a fake boyfriend to make Chuck jealous. She plans on dumping him and going to the White Party stag. Blair and Chuck fight over what college James goes to. Foreshadowing. Is James not who he says he is?
Dan decides to haul his butt out to the Hampton's... what do you know... just in time for the white party. How convenient. Serena's grandma has apparently gotten over the fact that he is a poor boy from Brooklyn and loans him so clothes and her arm as date to get in. Somehow I doubt Dan and her late husband are the same size but walla, he's dressed sharp as a tack.
Eleanor's minion gets that comeuppance when Eric introduces Jenny to socialite Tinsley Mortimer in front of her.
Bitchy Blair gets called out by James when he realizes she is using him to make Chuck jealous. When asked if she ever really liked him at all she replies the way I wish I could have so many times, "No, not really. You're kind of boring."
Nate's married chick is at the party. So, Serena decides to make out with Nate to help annoy her. This of course happens the moment that Dan shows up at the party to watch it all unfold.
Dan and Serena fight. The two girls from the book store conveniently show up and realize they were being two timed. Poor dead grandfather Van der Woodsen's white clothes get ruined.
James finally fesses up that he is not who he says he is. He's a rich Brit and a Lord, Marcus Beaton. All of a sudden Mr.. Boring becomes Mr.. Right for Blair.
Waiting for her car, Chuck tells Blair he was scared she would see the real him and that's why he ditched her for the summer. She says she will forgive him and go with him if he says the true reason why he doesn't want her to leave with James, "Three words, eight letters. Say it and I'm yours." He eeks out an "I" and that's it. So, James will be sticking around for awhile. For those not paying attention the words she wanted he hear were "I Love You."
The episode ends with Serena and Dan reuniting on the beach. Is a rekindling of their romance in the works?
Episode Two Preview: Dan and Serena have an inappropriate tryst on the Hampton Jitney. Marcus' connection to Nate's married lady, Catherine is revealed. Blair throws an end of summer bash and finds someone in a compromising position. Nate's families assets are frozen.
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