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'The Bachelor' Recap: Episode Two
After a never ending recap of last week's episode we come back from commercial to see Jason shipping his son Tyler back home so he can go on his woman hunt alone. Cut to the remaining 15 bachelorettes arriving at the mansion where they will be living, and seeing it for the first time. Cue the blood curdling screams. Turns out they might be spending more time than they think in the house as host Chris Harrison reveals not all the girls will get to go on a date each week with Jason. So, let's see. They left their homes, friends and jobs to spend several weeks with 14 other hot women?
Jason arrives for an "impromptu" pool party, which gives ABC plenty of time to show the women in bikinis. They do know that the main audience for this show is women and we really don't enjoy the bikini shots? Fortunately, some equal opportunity time is given as Jason takes his shirt off and gets ogled by the girls. The whole gang gets into some chicken fights in the pool and then Jason has another truly sparkling ketchup and mustard conversation with Jillian. Shannon gives her creepy "I'm here for you and I know everything I know about you" speech while she rubs suntan lotion on Jason's tanned, toned, muscular shoulders. Sorry, lost my train of thought for a second. Jason, who clearly is just not that into her, tells Shannon, "Continue being your goofy self." -- i.e. let's just be friends.
The first clue that the whole, 'DeAnna comes back to steal Jason' thing is just creative editing is revealed when Shannon asks, "OK, now where is Jason?" Keen observes will notice that was a clip that was used in last week's promo.
Now, apparently Jillian did 'cut the mustard' because Jason gives her a rose at the pool party. In a nice little ABC tie-in, Jason takes Jillian to the Disney Concert Hall for a private performance by Robin Thicke, who clearly thinks he is performing for a crowd of thousands rather than two people. Jillian describes this as the "most intimate date she has ever had." I guess she forgot about all the cameramen, sound people, producers, singers and band members surrounding her. They share the first kiss of the season. Jason Kiss count: 1.
Melissa from Dallas gets the first one-on-one date chosen by Jason. They hit the beach and share some oysters and then Melissa tries to impress Jason by telling him her goal is to become a first grade teacher. Interesting, since in her 2006 Bio for the show "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team," which she was on for two seasons, she says her career goal is, "To be an entertainment news correspondent on E! with Guiliana DePandi" (now Rancic). Two vastly different career paths! Could Melissa just be telling single dad Jason what he wants to hear? He clearly buys it. Jason Kiss count: 2.
Next, Jason takes eight of the girls for a one-on-eight date. They hit a store and show off their mostly bad taste in clothes by choosing outfits for the evening. Speaking of bad clothing choices, what is up with the vest Jason is wearing? The clothes come off and the swimsuits go on. Jason then asks the girls to perform a talent show but not before busting a few dance moves of his own which one girl calls "cute." i.e. embarrassing. Three girls including Molly then perform a pathetic synchronized swimming routine. Molly pulls Jason aside to say her real talent is she is a good kisser. Jason Kiss count: 3.
Nikki takes the opportunity to backstab her bachelorette pals by telling Jason she thinks some of the girls are only pretending to be ready to be a mother. Later, Naomi tells Jason she wants to "always be friends with him" and then proceeds to awkwardly ask, "Can friends kiss?" Jason kiss count: 4
Brazilian bombshell Raquel hides out in Jason's limo to tell him how much she wants to stay because her intuition tells her, "Jason is the one for me." My intuition tells me Raquel is going home tonight.
Later, at the cocktail party before the rose ceremony, Lisa comes to tell Jason she is leaving the show because her grandmother is terminally ill. While Jason handles it like a gentleman with compassion, some of the girls true colors come out when they say they are glad she is leaving because it's one less person they have to worry about being around Jason. Yeah, these are the types of girls you want to marry Jason.
I'm missing "Two and a Half Men" for this?
Then comes a classic 'Bachelor' moment: Jason tells Nikki, "you've got amazing qualities... and they're obvious," as the camera pans up her ample, exposed cleavage.
Obvious party girl Erica wastes precious moments of my life by fighting with Megan, which I'm forced to watch because my DVR is all caught up to live TV at this point.
At the rose ceremony Jason sends Raquel and Sharon (the girl who quit her job to come on the show) home.
I watched The Bachelor this Monday, 1/12/09, and I can't believe Jason chose Erica. That is a bitch if I've seen one. I think the show did that on purpose. I would love to stop watching the show now. That really makes me mad. I feel so sorry for the other girls that have to live in the same house with that tough broad. I bet she's an untrustworthy two-face that causes trouble with her co-workers on the job, and I bet she was like that in school. She's a loser.
No wonder the couples don't survive in the real world. These women are more interested in winning a competition than they are in finding a husband. I usually watch the Bachelorette and not the Bachelor. However, I thought things would be different this season with Jason. It is not. The women are worst.