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Rating the 'American Idol' Performances: Round One
Last night "American Idol" returned with its first live show. Rather than recap what happened, this season I've decided I'm going to channel my inner Simon Cowell and just break it down as I see and hear it. Within three seconds of the show starting I'm already annoyed with Tatiana Del Toro. What is up with the head shaking during Ryan Seacrest's intro? I'm also distracted by everyone's wardrobe. Apparently, the wardrobe stylist has decided to forgo the suit and put Ryan in some type of cross between a Cosby and a Mr. Rogers sweater ensemble. Ryan mentions it's Kara's DioGuardi's first live show. I think she and Randy must have called each other so they could wear matching ridiculous black and white outfits. Paula needs to lose the bangs and the back combed hair. As for Simon, well at least he is consistent.
Jackie Tohn is up first wearing an outfit clearly inspired by Olivia Newton-John at the end of "Grease" when she's all, "You better wake up... cause I need a man" to John Travolta. She should have gone for the Olivia spiked heels and not those bizarre sneakers. She sings "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley. I like the raspy vocals, hate the dancing.
Next up is Ricky Braddy. Has this poor guy had any airtime at all up until this live show? I don't remember seeing him one single time. He's sunk unless he nails his song. He actually does a great performance but considering only one guy, one girl and the top vote getter will make it through, his lack of airtime is going to put him behind the eight ball. That performance should earn him a spot in the wild card show. And BTW, I'm really not ready to meet the parents yet of any of these contestants. This is really only our first "American Idol" date this season with our Top 36. It's just too soon to start meeting the family.
Single mom Alexis Grace tackles "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin. Fortunately, she didn't copy the inauguration hat. I'm digging the new shiny microphone this season, which I just noticed. Her dress looks kind of like sexy lingerie which actually kind of works with the song and her vocals. Simon calls her a dark horse. Someone needs to get this poor girl a spray tan though if she makes it to the Top 12!
Doogie Howser in the house! Cut to Neil Patrick Harris sitting next to Ted Danson in the audience.
You gotta love live TV. Poor Ryan tried his best to keep the show going after their little technical mishap with the Brent Keith tape. Brent says he is singing the song "Hicktown" to let people know "this is who I am." Well, considering he didn't win when he was on "Nashville Star" I don't think anyone really wants to know who he is. He does have a cool country singer name though but I don't think we'll be seeing him in the Top 12 and getting to know who he is. Although, Bucky Covington somehow got voted through. My favorite Simon line of the night, "What did happen to Bucky Covington?'
Stevie Wright murders Taylor Swift's "You Belong To Me." So long Stevie. She's cute but how did she make Top 36? Simon essentially writes her plane ticket home.
Anoop Desai proves he is no Sanjaya tackling "Angel of Mine" by Monica with a decent performance. It's an interesting take on the song. I feel a trip to Anastasia in Beverly Hills may be in order for him if he makes top 12. I'll let you Google that to figure out what I'm talking about. I'm going to guess Anoop will have to wait for the wild card show for his chance at the Top 12.
Casey Carlson - adorable, yes... Great performer - no. She is going to be horrified when she watches the show back and sees all the kooky, over the top looks she was giving the camera. She reminds of one of the girls on "The Bachelor." Perhaps that can be her next reality show.
I'm a fan of Michael Sarver but did not love his rendition of "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw. He reminds me of Matt Rogers from season three who is also "a nice guy."
Anne Marie Boskovich sings a boring rendition of "Natural Woman" in a boring blue dress. She seems to have a huge online fan base, which may save her tonight. Randy asks the dreaded, "How did you think you did?" which always mean he hates it.
Steven Fowler remembers the lyrics but forgets how to sing taking on "Rock Wit You" by Michael Jackson. He'll be rocking right out of the competition. Is this show almost over?
Tatiana Del Annoying is the last female to perform. It doesn't matter how she sounds because she's got the folks at VoteForTheWorst.com behind her. She actually sounded pretty decent which Randy is surprised about. So, why did he allow her in the Top 36? In the night's most brilliant moment Simon calls her about for being a drama queen and wanting to be famous.
Danny Gokey gets the "pimp" spot, as the bloggers like to call it. It's the last performance of every show, which they believe producers put there the person they most want to get through. He doesn't need it. He sounds fantastic. I voted. Twice. The first time I've voted since Chris Daughtry.
Predictions for who will make it through:
Danny Gokey
Alexis Grace
Tatiana Del Toro
Wildcard Round: Anoop Desai, Michael Sarver, Ricky Braddy
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