I was just 3 feet away from the Jack Nicholson of horse racing.  Maybe I should say the Emile Hirsch of racing as the aura is vast but the experience is not.    "Big Brown" is as big a stud (Colt really) and a star as there is here in Louisville, Kentucky...after only 3 big races, he's favored to win the Kentucky Derby 3 to 1.

 

Sam Flood, the NBC Sports producer running the show out here for the network took me back to the stables.  Multi-million dollar training stables, one after the other, it was impressive.  But around "Big Brown" was crime scene tape and major security which now makes him the Angelina Jolie of horse racing. 

 

I was star struck.  The trainers let us in close enough to watch “Big Brown” walk in a slow circle around the stables...he had just gotten a bath and needed to air dry. Seriously.

I'm watching “Dancing With The Stars” and I'm sure of one thing...Derek Hough and Shannon Elizabeth are either intimately involved or totally consumed by the thought of intimacy. 

 

Her level of interest is not as assured as his. He cannot keep his hands off her...I remember him being the most touchy feely guy last year, but this year he seems like an adolescent boy discovering his hormones for the first time.

 

He kind of reminds me of Jason Biggs' high school character who falls for Shannon in “American Pie”.  She flashed Biggs.  The Hougher is raging.

 

The topless photo of Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair seems like a really bad idea that nobody opposed.  Not even Miley's (we thought) protective parents.  And almost as provocative as the topless photo of Miley clutching nothing more than a blanket (every child loves their blankie) is the shot of her with her dad, lounging like lovers, baring the midriff.  We get it, dad and daughter are close but this is a little creepy. She's not 10. She's starting to appear like a woman.

 

I like Miley a lot and I think Billy Ray is as genuine as they get.  The fact that neither dad nor daughter, nor the real backbone of the family, MOM, voiced opposition to this unfortunate invasion of innocence stuns me.

 

Let me be clear, this photo disturbs me greatly.  I have a nine-year-old daughter whose youth and innocence I am desperately trying to extend for as long as humanly possible.  Like many parents, I saw Miley Cyrus as my single greatest ally in this effort.

Judging by Miley's comments in USA Today about how it all went down, I can take a calculated, measured guess as to how this happened.

“The Billy Bush Show” is out of the gates and strong. Julia Roberts phoned in for our opening night. Mariah Carey the next day.  Today, I'm scheduled to chat with Jack Nicholson, with whom I played golf on Saturday. He is a strong player and of course, the biggest star there is. Jack doesn't do much in the press so this is special.

 

Lindsay Lohan will be on Friday.

 

This is not luck or a calling in of favors. It's a result of six years of building a name and reputation. People know I ask the questions that need to be asked but they also know I love a laugh more than anything in life and I want people to never regret coming on with me.

 

Life is too short for burned bridges...of which I only have one in Hollywood. Wait, maybe there's a second, but that's a result of a shortsighted, prejudiced celebrity...nothing to do with me as a person.

Last Tuesday night was a great night for Me, Dane Cook, Hollywood in general and best of all the children who benefit from the Lollipop Theater Network, where I sit on the board.

 

Several months ago, Dane Cook offered to headline a stand-up night for me and Lollipop after my misstep on celebrity 'Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?'. His motive was to help make back some money that I lost as a result of "going for it".  A great guy.  His comedy was hysterical.

 

Dom Irrera, Ian Edwards (a guy I had never heard before and boy was he funny) and Jeff Ross all killed it and the crowd went nuts.

 

Best of all, the comics were touched by the work of Lollipop and will come back again if we do it next year, especially Dane.

 

We are less than a week away from the first ever Lollipop Laugh Off with Headliner Dane Cook. 

(click the image to the left to view the event details!)

Since joining the board of Lollipop Theater Network a couple years ago, I have found myself getting more and more involved. Frankly, it's impossible not to when one considers the mission of Lollipop: we bring movies currently showing, and, when possible, the stars of the films, to children who are confined to the hospital. No kid should be cut off from the world his or her friends know every day, to battle illness.  

The laughter and the normalcy can help a child to fight illness and stave off fear. When I think about a child laying in isolation surrounded by wires, tubes, beeping devices, it crushes me. Light, laughter, entertainment, and distractions of a childlike nature are essential. We provide that.

So great that “Dancing With The Stars” is back.  As Steve Guttenberg said, "It’s great to be part of something so positive".  I was impressed with Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins whose partner is Edyta.  Edyta is married but clearly enamored with him.  Sorry, my wife agrees. 

 

Steve Guttenberg has infectious warmth. He is a happy, nice guy and he ignites positively in everybody.  Adam Carolla was hysterical...funny and unpredictable in that he wasn't entirely "cool guy", he was vulnerable and real, as well as funny and "male". 

 

Cristian de la Fuente is very sexy.  He awoke a dormant pair of hips and my wife and I agree he will excel.  Privately, I'm sure you could get her to admit that he is gorgeous.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is an embarrassment.  People should be outraged that the Governor of New York was subverting his wife and chasing a prostitute.  Client #9....way to go, Spitzer.

 

How stupid and self-destructive can this guy be?

 

For a TV personality to do this, for example, it would be monumentally stupid.  For the Governor of New York...amazingly, stratospherically dumb.

 

Never mind that the guy is an unfaithful weasel, he's too reckless to be Governor.

I went to Aspen this past weekend and skied in a celebrity race to benefit Aspen Youth Experience.  What started out as a fun ski weekend to Aspen with friends turned out to be a moving experience for all of us.

 

A young woman named Ayesha, who raced on my team incidentally, got up on Saturday night dressed beautifully and spoke of her painful journey in life.  From early teen alcohol abuse to being sexually assaulted by a group of boys one awful day at a bus stop, this girl got up and told us all what happened to her and how Aspen Youth Experience came into her life at when the whole thing looked like a dead end.

 

This charity takes at youth teens and sets them up in Aspen with families who are privileged. They ski, they taste the better life, they enter workshops with other kids and share painful but MUTUAL experiences.  They heal together and inevitably they come out alright.  After they leave Aspen, AYE does monthly follow-ups to make sure the kids are ok until they return again. 

 

I cried during young Ayesha's speech. She is now a mother AND a staff sergeant in the Us Army.  I’m crying now just typing this.  Her interest is communications.  I told her I'd hire her if she wanted a job someday with me.  Note to boss, sorry if we weren't hiring, but we have to on this one.  I'll pay her salary if need be.  The kid is bright and way beyond "battle tested".

 

Two TMZ photographers were arrested by cops last night in Hollywood. Whether they were technically in violation of any specific law or not, what is for certain is that TMZ is essentially a paparazzi outfit with an editorial division.  

TMZ is an establishment Hollywood production... The two camera operators apprehended last night are Warner Bros./Telepictures employees from a show that airs on a broadcast network.

 

TMZ is the first example of a Hollywood establishment getting into the renegade hounding business that the paparazzi have created.

 

All shows have shot on the sidewalk before, but not as a result of following a star wherever they go, every day, every hour... While that may not qualify as "stalking" legally, it's something pretty darn close in my opinion.

 

It's pretty outrageous.

 

In this world, since Warner Bros. is home to a lot of stars, you have the hunters and the hunted on the same company payroll. 

 

My understanding is that most of the TMZ photographers are young kids, handed cameras and told to go out and get it. It's kind of a fun post-college gig at first look. What do they tell their parents, "I'm a videographer, mom!"

 

If they're straight with themselves, it's, "Mom, I'm a paparazzo... don't tell dad."