I can't tell you the countless number of times I have sat down to write this blog. But every time, I either start tearing up or I feel I won't be able to come up with words good enough.
 
The holidays bring out so many emotions and feelings. I was recently asked by my hometown newspaper, the Sun News in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, to tell them about my most memorable Christmas for an article they were doing. I chose last year. Here is what I wrote:
 
"Being with my family during the holidays has always been my first priority. We've had many wonderful Christmases throughout the years, but last year was especially poignant. It was the first Christmas with my beautiful baby girl, Ashby, and the last Christmas with my wonderful mother. It made me realize just how much those times and memories with your family should always be treasured and should never be taken for granted. Last Christmas, my mom had recently been diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). So while it was a very tough Christmas for all of us, the time I spent with her was truly precious and memorable. And as it was Ashby's first Christmas, I was so grateful that my mom got to meet her and they got to spend time together as grandmother and granddaughter during the Christmas season. My mom passed away this June, but she already gave me the biggest gift for which anyone could hope... she showed me how to be a great mother. If I can be just half the mother my mom was to me, I will be a great one. And I know she will be watching over us this year as a Christmas angel."
 
I tried to keep in mind this Christmas what I had written about times and memories always being treasured and never taken for granted. I knew I would have to draw upon those words during this holiday season, as it would be an emotional one for us being the first one without my mom.
 
So there we were Christmas Day having dinner when "Ave Maria" started playing on our CD player. That was one of my mom's favorite songs. I had to excuse myself from the dinner table because the song made me think of Mom and how I miss her so very much... and the tears started coming. My husband followed me into the living room to comfort me. I told him how it just didn't feel right to not have Mom there... that there was such a void and loneliness to the air.

Wow… 3000 episodes of Access Hollywood and I have been here for every one. I am going on my 12th year here at Access! Of course, I started when I was just 15-years-old!!!! And boy what a ride it has been!

 

I can remember, as if it were yesterday, my very first interview. It was with Keanu Reeves and I was so nervous that I just laughed throughout the entire interview. No matter how he answered, I just let out this big belly laugh like it was the best thing anybody had ever said. He must have thought I was a bit whacky... hopefully, he realized I was just green.

 

The one question I get asked almost daily - so who are your favorite celebrities? Who do you enjoy interviewing the most? I always answer Richard Gere, because I had a crush on him for so long. I developed the crush when I was a little girl and snuck into the theater to see "American Gigolo" before the age I was allowed and caught a glimpse of his behind. Oh my... how my crush started that day!

 

I remember one of my first interviews with him. I was so tongue-tied... I could not get my questions out. My face turned bright red because of it and then my producers started yelling, "Get her some water, get her some water!" And that just made things worse! But actually, it all turned out just fine because I had to confess my crush to Richard and we have had the best relationship ever since.

The time has come for me to return to work at Access after my maternity leave...going back to the studio, the lights, the makeup and hair, the deadlines, the voice-overs and all the amazing people I have considered my friends and a joy with whom to work. So, as I start to think about my return to the Hollywood race, I think about how my life has changed in the past 3 months...how something comes into your life and not only makes you happy, but makes you a completely different and better person. And it is in ways that are almost inconceivable.

My husband told me before we had our baby in June that life would be different. He told me my priorities would change, my perspective on life would change and that I would never again be the same. I didn't fully understand what he meant, but now I do...

See, I wake up in the mornings now as if I am 5 years old and it is Christmas. Forget reading the newspaper, returning every single morning email, or getting that extra bit of sleep. I can't wait to see the beautiful face of my little girl and when I see that toothless grin, it is just the best thing ever!!

It was definitely one of the best days I have ever had!

I knew the baby shower would be fun, but I truly did not realize just HOW INCREDIBLE of a day it would be. The shower was given by three of my girlfriends...Courtney Thompson, who has been a friend of mine for 10 years now, Karen Knopp who is the makeup artist at Access Hollywood, and Nicole Allowitz who is the wardrobe stylist at Access (we spend so much time together every day we have forged tight friendships! )

The day started with the shower hosts and I getting ready in a room at the Viceroy, the venue where the shower was held. What a blast we had laughing and reminiscing as we pulled out the mascara, blush and hairspray! Then we proceeded down to the room where the shower was held.

My girlfriends had so kindly thought of EVERYTHING, all with special meaning...from decorating with little bunnies because bunnies will be a predominant decoration in my nursery to all the fun "you're having a girl" stuff to the guest registry book to help me remember every moment...even a cake made out of donuts!!! (because that is one thing I have been craving lately...or let's say my baby girl has...sounds better for the baby to crave the donuts(-: ).

So, it has been a while since I've been able to 'blog' with you.

As most of you probably already know, I have been a little busy. My hubby and I are expecting our first child together...(as you may also know, we have 2 very wonderful boys from his first marriage).

This has caused quite a change in my life, more than I really thought it would. There are the doctors appointments, making sure I get enough rest, eating right, not pushing myself (which caused me to be 'blogless' lately), getting the nursery ready, making sure I have everything I'll need and I don't even have to mention the entire LIBRARY of books you can read on being a first-time mom.

This has caused me to take the time to reflect on exactly what it takes to be a mother...not just having a baby, but to really contemplate all that goes into bringing a new life into the world. When thinking of being a mother, there's the pressure of knowing that another human being depends on you for not only survival, but that you'll be a TRUE role model. You'll be looked to for comfort, for guidance, for appreciation, for discipline, for advice, for sympathy, for laughter, for just about everything that all of us are. Being a mother is so much more than just 'having a baby'.

I think his co-star Laura Linney said it best, "I've never seen anybody make so many people happy. I used to love to watch him walk into a room or go to dinner with him and look at the faces of everyone else in the room."

She is talking about Robin Williams and I couldn't agree with her more. I met up with Robin on Friday to talk about his new movie "Man of the Year". It is always a treat to interview Robin...except for the stomach cramps you have afterwards from laughing so much!

The first thing Robin always says to me when I see him is "How are your parents?".

At least through email, I can let my voice be heard. Otherwise, it would be impossible because I have a bad case of laryngitis. Boy, a cold and cough really got me this time. I had a week's vacation and at the tail end, I caught a cough and cold. I came back to work last week on Monday and then Tuesday, boom, I woke up with no voice. It started coming back and I got brave and decided it was okay to talk with a raspy voice.

Just a few days ago, my husband, Keith, and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary. I must say that I never, ever knew that a relationship could be this good and wonderful, especially having gone through a divorce.

If you have been through a bad breakup, I am sure you can relate to the feeling I had right after: the feeling that "true" love just doesn't really exist - except in fairytales, of course. We all hear (rarely) of rock solid/best friend marriages, but we think they are a fluke and that we, ourselves, will never find them. Trust me, I was one of those thinkers before I met my husband.

In just a few days, on June 29th, it will be my one year anniversary with my newlywed husband, Keith. I must say that I never, ever knew that a relationship could be this good and wonderful, especially having gone through a divorce.

If you have been through a bad breakup, I am sure you can relate to the feeling I had right after: the feeling that "true" love just doesn't really exist - except in fairytales, of course. We all hear (rarely) of rock solid/best friend marriages, but we think they are a fluke and that we, ourselves, will never find them. Trust me, I was one of those thinkers before I met my husband.

What does Jennifer think about all the "What does Jen think?"

It started in the morning as soon as I put on my TV. The local news anchors were deep in discussion about Jennifer Aniston's reaction to the birth of Brangelina's baby. Jennifer had a premiere in Chicago over the weekend for her new movie, "The Break-Up." The premiere came AFTER the media had announced the birth. The hosts commended Jennifer for being brave enough to come out to the premiere, debated whether any reporter would be bold enough to ask her about the birth of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, and discussed how she would publicly react.