5:42pm, Saturday, June 9, 2007

“Hey Daddy-o, Miss Bella did a poopy” is usually how I am awakened Saturday mornings by my wide-eyed, 2-1/2 year old daughter Bella, her beautiful, innocent face on the edge of the bed just inches from my bleary-eyed mug. I'm horizontal . . . melted into the bed. She's vertical and rarin' to go. It's usually 6:30AM.

This morning however, I slipped outta the house at 5:45AM to exhange Miss Bella's “steamers” for yak hair, glued to my face.

Go back and re-read that line. I kid you not. Yak hair. Glued to my face.

And believe me, that's a fair trade because today I became Noah.

Yep, we flew in the folks who made Steve Carell into Noah for the film, “Evan Almighty” to make me into Noah. I was warned it would be a three hour process -- lots of glue, a little bit of pain and some bondo...(seriously, they have a can of this stuff and on the label it sez, “bondo”!), but hey, how often do you get the best special fx makeup/hair folks on the planet to work on ya'? And, better yet, turn you into Noah?

The answer is, NEVER.

Standing next to a stunning Halle Berry talking about her going commando is not a bad gig on a Tuesday night in the City of Angels.

She informed me backstage at the People's Choice Awards that she only goes commando "…at home” which, quite frankly, put a visual in my mind that made me temporarily lose my train of thought. I'm a guy, alright?

The conversation of "to wear or not to wear" underwear came about after she came on stage in a very short dress to accept her PCA for Favorite Female Action Star...as the audience below looked up at her...and up under her dress. When she accepted her award she told the crowd and the millions watching on TV she was glad she wore underwear.

See how my job works? Its nuts sometimes.

by Tony Potts

So, I was snooping around Tori Spelling’s house, and I peaked inside her closet door and I have to admit, I felt a little creepy doing so. However, just as I was reaching for a t-shirt I was jolted…or should I say shoved aside - BODY BLOCKED by a woman with a box, the look of an NFL linebacker and the determination no one was going to get in her way of getting her hands on Tori’s goods.

And let me tell ya’…there were a lot of Tori’s goods to be had. It was Tori’s Yard Sale..which, true to the way things work here in Hollywood, was not in her yard at all.

I saw 'The Departed' the other night at Warner Brothers Studios. It's the new Martin Scorcese movie starring Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg. Before I tell you what I think of the movie, let me tell you what Jack thinks of the movie.

You see, the same night I went to the Warner Brothers lot to screen the movie I learned there was 'another' screening'a second screening. You see, when I stopped at the security gate, the guard asked me which 'Departed' screening I was going to and I told him whichever one has my name on the list.

There is something I have to get off my chest. But first, a little scene-setting.

I am in the audience every Tuesday night during ABC's 'Dancing with the Stars' live broadcast.

I've been there'nearly every dance night since the very first season when no one had even heard of the show. No, I didn't get lost and just ended up there by accident. I have navigation, smarty pants.

Right off the bat I should tell you I love the show. I'm not even a big dance fan'I'm a sports fan'and make no mistake about it'this is like a sporting event. The secondary reason I love this show is because it is family friendly television. As a dad of two daughters, I'm growing to appreciate that small slice of television more and more.

When I looked into Scarlett Johansson's eyes' I couldn't help but think'. she was born in the wrong era' She's such a natural starlet from Hollywood's golden days of the 40s and 50s'.except she's in 2006.

She'd fit in perfectly on a red carpet alongside Hollywood legends like Ava Gardner and Jean Harlow.

And it doesn't help that her new movie, "The Black Dahlia," is set in the 40s' or that we were sitting in a hotel made famous by the likes of Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and countless other big time stars from that by-gone era -- The Biltmore in downtown Los Angeles. Stewart won his Oscar for 'The Philadelphia Story' at the Academy Awards held at The Biltmore. So did Tracy and Davis. It has been beautifully restored to it's glorious former self.

She was 'Betty the Ugly' (the original title), now she's just 'Ugly Betty''which I guess is better than being the star of a show called, 'Fugly'.

Actually, whatever you call America 'Ugly Betty' Ferrera, the star of ABC's funny, heartwarming new dramedy doesn't matter. Because, what you'll be calling her after seeing the show?s debut is---lovable, adorable and yes, the trifecta of that emotion, huggable!

Here's the pitch in a nutshell:

Ugly, talented, heart-of-gold girl goes to work at snooty NYC fashion mag. Insults, humiliation, comedy, redemption and drama occur'not necessarily in that order.
Kinda a TV 'The Devil Wears Prada.'

I danced with Jerry Springer this morning.

That's something I never thought I'd ever write let alone 'do'.

Actually there is a legitimate reason'you see Jerry signed on as one of the stars of ABC's huge hit, 'Dancing With The Stars'. So, I drove over to a dance studio in Hollywood to see if Springer's feet are as fast as his mouth. In a word, no.

But next to his incredible professional partner, Kym Johnson (she won the Australian version of the show-who knew'..no..I mean..who knew they had an Australian version?), anyone would look like they had two left feet. Now, Kym's an interesting story.

Christina Aguilera is an interesting woman.

Very tough and very driven, full of complexities. I recently sat down with her in BevHills, some seven years after I first interviewed her. In many ways, she's the same person... talented and driven with a vision. Oh, and very late. My first interview with her all those years ago, she was more than an hour late. On this day, exactly an hour late. So maybe with maturity comes timeliness' I don't know... maybe Christina runs on a clock that has its own time zone... somewhere between Pacific and Eastern European' I almost showed up an hour late because I knew she'd be late. But if that's her worst fault, especially as things go in Hollywood, we're all good. (Hey, she didn't do a "no-show" and claim "exhaustion.")

JANET JACKSON.

FOR MOST PEOPLE, THOSE TWO WORDS CONJURE UP A TON OF IMAGES'MOSTLY OF A WOMAN WHO IS DOMINANT, IN CONTROL OF HER MUSIC AND NOT SHY ABOUT GETTING WHAT SHE WANTS OUT OF HER CAREER.'OH, AND VERY SEXY'.LEST I FORGET WHAT ALSO HELPS SELL MILLIONS OF DISCS.

HOWEVER, WHEN I SEE THE NAME, JANET JACKSON, I THINK OF A VERY SHY'I MEAN -- INCREDIBLY SHY-- WOMAN WHO IS JUST A BIG KID WITH A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR.

FOR EXAMPLE'. WE'VE TALKED ABOUT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES (I MAKE THE WORLD'S GREATEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES -- YES, FROM SCRATCH!), RACING MINI CARS, GETTING PULLED OVER FOR SPEEDING (AND BEING LET GO! JANET, NOT ME..I ALWAYS GET WRITTEN UP) AND TRYING TO DATE IN OUR 20'S.