by Access Hollywood's Tony Potts
I stayed away from Vegas and the MTV VMA’s (look, I feel I dodged a bullet or two in surviving NBA All-Star Weekend in Vegas last February) and thought I’d safely check it out 300-miles away on my 63-inch HD television here in LA.

It’s now 9:10PM Pacific, on Sunday night and I can tell you I have never watched a more painful 10-minutes of an award show in my life. I’ve seen some debacles, but THIS is a DEBACLE.

5:42pm, Saturday, June 9, 2007

“Hey Daddy-o, Miss Bella did a poopy” is usually how I am awakened Saturday mornings by my wide-eyed, 2-1/2 year old daughter Bella, her beautiful, innocent face on the edge of the bed just inches from my bleary-eyed mug. I'm horizontal . . . melted into the bed. She's vertical and rarin' to go. It's usually 6:30AM.

This morning however, I slipped outta the house at 5:45AM to exhange Miss Bella's “steamers” for yak hair, glued to my face.

Go back and re-read that line. I kid you not. Yak hair. Glued to my face.

And believe me, that's a fair trade because today I became Noah.

Yep, we flew in the folks who made Steve Carell into Noah for the film, “Evan Almighty” to make me into Noah. I was warned it would be a three hour process -- lots of glue, a little bit of pain and some bondo...(seriously, they have a can of this stuff and on the label it sez, “bondo”!), but hey, how often do you get the best special fx makeup/hair folks on the planet to work on ya'? And, better yet, turn you into Noah?

The answer is, NEVER.

Started in Miami for super bowl...

Then back to la for Grammys then suddenly on Thursday...just four days after Super Bowl....three days before Grammys...on Thursday February 8th I'm inside the Staples Center talking Grammy show producer Ken Erlich around 11:15am pacific time when my blackberry starts vibrating like mad with what I soon learn is an email tip that Anna Nicole Smith has collapsed in Florida and is trying to be resuscitated ...

I speed back to access Hollywood offices....

Immediately go live on MSNBC as my blackberry continues to vibrate with details.

I learn from a source who overheard a Miami police cruiser radio break in with the news Anna Nicole smith has died.

But I need to confirm it through another source...however I'm live on the air.

Rita Cosby is also on with me and she has Ron Rale on the air by phone...he's Anna Nicole's attorney...and he breaks the news...live..that she has indeed died.

And from that moment I have been on the road.

Standing next to a stunning Halle Berry talking about her going commando is not a bad gig on a Tuesday night in the City of Angels.

She informed me backstage at the People's Choice Awards that she only goes commando "…at home” which, quite frankly, put a visual in my mind that made me temporarily lose my train of thought. I'm a guy, alright?

The conversation of "to wear or not to wear" underwear came about after she came on stage in a very short dress to accept her PCA for Favorite Female Action Star...as the audience below looked up at her...and up under her dress. When she accepted her award she told the crowd and the millions watching on TV she was glad she wore underwear.

See how my job works? Its nuts sometimes.

by Tony Potts

So, I was snooping around Tori Spelling’s house, and I peaked inside her closet door and I have to admit, I felt a little creepy doing so. However, just as I was reaching for a t-shirt I was jolted…or should I say shoved aside - BODY BLOCKED by a woman with a box, the look of an NFL linebacker and the determination no one was going to get in her way of getting her hands on Tori’s goods.

And let me tell ya’…there were a lot of Tori’s goods to be had. It was Tori’s Yard Sale..which, true to the way things work here in Hollywood, was not in her yard at all.

I saw 'The Departed' the other night at Warner Brothers Studios. It's the new Martin Scorcese movie starring Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg. Before I tell you what I think of the movie, let me tell you what Jack thinks of the movie.

You see, the same night I went to the Warner Brothers lot to screen the movie I learned there was 'another' screening'a second screening. You see, when I stopped at the security gate, the guard asked me which 'Departed' screening I was going to and I told him whichever one has my name on the list.

There is something I have to get off my chest. But first, a little scene-setting.

I am in the audience every Tuesday night during ABC's 'Dancing with the Stars' live broadcast.

I've been there'nearly every dance night since the very first season when no one had even heard of the show. No, I didn't get lost and just ended up there by accident. I have navigation, smarty pants.

Right off the bat I should tell you I love the show. I'm not even a big dance fan'I'm a sports fan'and make no mistake about it'this is like a sporting event. The secondary reason I love this show is because it is family friendly television. As a dad of two daughters, I'm growing to appreciate that small slice of television more and more.

Calista Flockhart looked at me'and asked, 'Are you on drugs'!'

Not the response I usually hope for after asking a question.

It was actually a funny moment. Ever have one of those times when you ask a friend something, they completely missed what you've said, misinterpreted it and then looked at you like you have three heads'

Well that's what happened to Calista and me yesterday, Monday. I was on the set of her new ABC show, 'Brothers and Sisters', which debuts this Sunday.

When I looked into Scarlett Johansson's eyes' I couldn't help but think'. she was born in the wrong era' She's such a natural starlet from Hollywood's golden days of the 40s and 50s'.except she's in 2006.

She'd fit in perfectly on a red carpet alongside Hollywood legends like Ava Gardner and Jean Harlow.

And it doesn't help that her new movie, "The Black Dahlia," is set in the 40s' or that we were sitting in a hotel made famous by the likes of Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy and countless other big time stars from that by-gone era -- The Biltmore in downtown Los Angeles. Stewart won his Oscar for 'The Philadelphia Story' at the Academy Awards held at The Biltmore. So did Tracy and Davis. It has been beautifully restored to it's glorious former self.

She was 'Betty the Ugly' (the original title), now she's just 'Ugly Betty''which I guess is better than being the star of a show called, 'Fugly'.

Actually, whatever you call America 'Ugly Betty' Ferrera, the star of ABC's funny, heartwarming new dramedy doesn't matter. Because, what you'll be calling her after seeing the show?s debut is---lovable, adorable and yes, the trifecta of that emotion, huggable!

Here's the pitch in a nutshell:

Ugly, talented, heart-of-gold girl goes to work at snooty NYC fashion mag. Insults, humiliation, comedy, redemption and drama occur'not necessarily in that order.
Kinda a TV 'The Devil Wears Prada.'